A day in the life. Tues June 10th, 2014

Tuesdays are one of my days “off”… I will do a working day in the life, and an ‘off’ day in the life.

Home day: Ev is 3 *almost* and Shae is 10 months

5am – Shae is awake, I go in and feed her and thank god she goes back to sleep. Didn’t have a good night last night, she was up (just a couple wails then back to sleep on her own) every hour until midnight.

6:45am – alarm goes off, Ryan gets up and goes to work. I roll over and go back to sleep.

7:20am – I hear the tell tale foot steps of Everleigh being awake. I open the door, we go to the bathroom, she asks where Shae is, Shae is usually awake before Ev.

7:25- Ev has the Ipad, a yogurt and a granola bar, and I am in the shower.

7:45- I am out, dressed, and Shae wakes up. I just bring her into the living room to play while I put on some tinted moisturizer, mascara, and braid my hair.

Try to determine if we should have Shae nap before the park at home, or hope she falls asleep in the stroller if we go for a long walk before the park.

8:00am- pack a lunch for the park (grapes, cheese, kielbasa, organic puffs, water, and gluten free ‘cars’ snacks as a treat for Ev, having a snack for bribery purposes is always necessary)

8:15am- breastfeed Shae

8:30am- breakfast time. Ev has Eggs, a piece of toast, strawberries. Shae has blueberries, strawberries, avocado, some toast, half a banana. I have eggs and avocado.

9:30am- try to put Shae down for a nap, but then clue in that my friends are already on their way to the park and we probably are going to be way off on our timing. 15 minutes later Shae isn’t asleep so I get her out of bed, we pack up the car and go.

10:15am- Starbucks, iced coffee fuel for mama

10:30am – park at the Frozen yogurt place *so we can have it after the park* load up the stroller with a blanket, diaper bag, swim stuff, and head to the park. We have about a 20 minute walk (gotta get my fitbit steps in, and hoping still that Shae falls asleep)

11:00am-get to park, meet friends, Shae is not asleep. Change Shae’s poopy diaper after it leaks on me a bit, perhaps this is why she didn’t fall asleep.

Play at park/splash pad for 2 hours, lots of snacking in between running through splash pad and on slides. Us moms take turns playing with the toddlers, watching the babies, and getting odd moments of time where we actually get to have adult conversation. These are 2 moms I met in a ‘Just Beginnings’ class when I had Ev, and they have both had their second babies as well (all within 6 weeks of Shae). We have all gotten together every Tuesday since November I think? Its been amazing and I am going to be sad when they go back to work, but then Ev starts NURSERY SCHOOL *cue tears*.

Dealt with lots of bad behaviour at the park from Everleigh who has taken to hitting whenever I ask her to do anything she doesn’t want to do. Its great. I have no idea how to fix it. I tell her if she hits again we have to leave right away, she does, so we do leave. But conveniently it was when I wanted to leave anyways.


1:00pm- pack up, walk 20 minutes back to Fro Yo, friends meet us there for some hilarious toddler eating moments. Thank gawd the place is empty so no one is annoyed. Shae fell asleep on the way back from the park, but wakes up at about 1:45.

2:00pm – back in car, Ev is loopy from the small amount of sugar she has had. She asks if we have a ‘smoke detector’. No idea why?

2:15pm – put Ev in her room hoping she will go to sleep on the first try.

2:30pm- nurse Shae, she isn’t interested. Change poopy bum #2.  Put her to bed. She goes right to sleep.

2:45- Ev is still yelling in her room, making a nest in her bed, playing loudly. I go in and remind her she has to have a nap so she can go out for dinner with her Opa tonight.

3:00 – quiet finally. I do a load of laundry since I have no clean sheets for my clients tonight. Watch a bit of 16 and Pregnant (guilty pleasure) clean the bathroom, kitchen, fold and put away laundry, pick up the disaster that is my living room, and savour every minute they are sleeping at the same time

3:30 – cleaning break to help my old employer figure out her professional facebook page.

3:40 – back to the mad clean up dash, after taking 5 minutes to blog all this, and also put my food into ‘myfitnesspal’ and drink the water I am behind on drinking today.

4:15 – kids are still sleeping. Its a miracle. I keep thinking I hear them, and then I don’t anymore. Talking with a friend about getting our girls in swimming lessons together before we go to our cottage weeks, and also chatting with a friend outwest about her new baby… and the rule proves true. As soon as I celebrate the long sleep, Shae is awake :)

4:20-4:30 Shae nurses and falls asleep. It doesn’t last long but I savour every minute. I know this will not happen often anymore.

4:30- go downstairs, switch laundry, set up massage table, fold a load of laundry, think about what we will have for supper, but then remember Ev is going out for supper, and Ryan will hopefully eat on his way home from school, so I just have to feed Shae and myself. Super easy. I will have leftover rice stir fry. Shae will have chicken, sweet potatoes, and I will make some fresh broccoli. I can’t believe Ev is still asleep. She is gonna be up till like 9 tonight! Lol.

4:40- read books with Shae until Ev wakes up at 4:50. Ev goes pee, we get her dressed for dinner. Read more books and play.

5:05- my brother (our babysitter for an hour tonight while I have an early client, and Ryan is at school) arrives

While he watches the girls I continue cleaning, getting dirty laundry from their rooms, putting away things that aren’t in their place, and putting the girls PJ’s in the bathroom ready for after their baths

5:30 my client arrives for an hour massage. Lucas sends Ev off with my Dad to go out for dinner for his girlfriends birthday at Jack Astors (I am super jealous, I love Jack Astors). Lucas feeds Shae dinner.

6:30 – Ryan gets home and I finish up with my client. Shae visits with my client as she is leaving, then Ryan gets Shae in the bath. Its very quiet and weird around here without Ev. When you have your first you don’t realize how quiet and manageable having one kid is. Then when all of a sudden you have two you crave those precious moments where you get to connect with one at a time. I quickly eat dinner and change over my massage table while Shae has her bath. Ryan tells me about a vehicle he is looking at trading my car in for. I am ridiculously excited. I feel as a family of four we have outgrown having a car. I need something bigger, and maybe its gonna happen! I am just nervous about paying to put gas in it!

6:45- play with Shae, finish eating my dinner. Chat with Ryan

7:00pm – nurse Shae, she is asleep by 7:15.

7:30- Head out for a walk. Almost at my 10,000 steps for the day. Load up a Health podcast and get in some ME time! Next client at 8:15

8:00pm – back from a peaceful walk with Moxie, sit down and wait for client.

and wait. Start dishwasher

and wait.

8:25pm – client not here yet, also Ev not home yet from dinner. Waste time on facebook while thinking ‘it would be smart to make Shae’s lunch right now’

8:40 – Dad and Joyce drop off Everleigh from dinner. She is in a hilarious adorable mood, and they bring us a brownie :) I feel terrible for having to miss a birthday dinner and my client not even showing up, but such is the life of the self employed.

8:45 – message from client, she totally forgot and will pay for missed appointment, and I thank my lucky stars for amazing clients who respect me like that!  Spend time messaging doula clients, and touching base with massage clients who I haven’t seen in awhile trying to fill 2 empty spots on Friday. Pack my bag for work tomorrow, make Shae’s lunch for tomorrow, table is set up for my home client in the morning. I have 2 at home in the morning, then Crossfit class at noon and one more client at the gym.

9:00pm – make myself a cup of tea *Earl Grey Vanilla decaf* settle down with the delicious brownie that Ev brought home, and have one hour of kid free silence. Read some more of ‘The Hormone Cure’

10pm- bedtime. Set my fitbit to wake me up at 6:00am to go for a walk before the girls get up. Talk to Ryan in bed about the new vehicle we MAY be getting tomorrow!! *giddy with excitement!!*


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Shae is 10 months old

I think when you were born Shae, I thought the time was going to pass so slowly. As I struggled with the reality of caring for a newborn while dealing with a blood clot, I spend too many minutes dreaming of when you were going to be older. You gave us a run for our money with sleep, and though those days were long, and hard. I miss them already.

You are an incredible personality. Getting into absolutely everything. Crawling, Cruising, opening cabinets, emptying drawers. You sister was never like that, so you are a new kind of adventure.

Sleeping through the night now, and napping twice a day. You are incredible at putting yourself to sleep (as long as you have Petey Penguin) and you are flexible when you need to be, but prefer to be on a schedule. I don’t mind that, it makes it easier to plan our days.

I am still working full days Mon, Wed, Fri, and with you girls all day Tues/Thursday until the evening when your Dad gets home and I see clients at home. We have already spent many warm days outside, at the park/splash pad and it makes me excited to see you grow over the summer.

You are still an excellent eater. You are really not drinking too much from me anymore during the day, mostly just in the morning and at night. I have ran out of my stash of breast milk so you started today on Cows milk when you are away from me. Not that it matters, but I wanted to prove to myself we could do it without formula, just for me, and we’ve done it. You love eating solid food and get so much nutrition from it. There isn’t anything you don’t like yet, other than eating when you are tired. You love avocado, grapes, watermelon, and puffs. I am keeping you mostly grain free, about 95% gluten free, but not being a nazi about your nutrition. I believe in a balance, and as long as 95% of what you are eating is good choices, I am ok with a flexible 5% every now and then. A bite of ice cream, a french fry. I want your digestive system to be flexible.

You are tolerating your sister a lot better now. She picks you up and carries you all over the house, and most days you are ok with it.

You have 4 teeth, and you got them over the course of 4 days! No whining at all, no crying, no wake ups, it was a friggin miracle. Thank you for that!

Here are some recent pics :)  *ok one right now, they don’t want to upload*


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Checking in

Why do I do this…

with my blog I find myself wondering about this whenever I am not making writing a priority.

I say I just write for myself, but the honest truth behind that is ‘if I just write for myself why am I not just journalling privately’?

I sit here blogging tonight while I could be spending time with my husband and girls while he gives them their nightly bath. What does that say about me?

Is this me time? I have always found writing therapeutic-

But, the reason I write my blog is to move people. To start a conversation. To not feel alone. To gather opinions. To connect.

That being said I feel like nobody has the time to comment. Just like me. I am always scanning my blog feed but not truly paying attention to the hard work people put into their writing. And definitely not commenting.

Is this about how many people are reading? Or how many people are commenting? I am not sure?

I have always dreamed of writing a book, a book to change people. I am not sure in what way yet, or about what topic. I know I want to affect people in some way. Just not sure if blogging is how to get there.

just meandering thoughts…

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Social Media Cleanse

My name is Lara, and I am a Social Media addict.

That feeling when you go onto facebook and you have notifications. It stresses me out almost. Like I need to stay on top of it, or if I come on once a day I would have like 30 notifications and miss something.

I check my facebook constantly. Like every…30 minutes, minimum. Ugh this hurts to admit but I check it when I am driving even. WHY?!?! What is going to happen that is so devastatingly important that I need to know at a stop light on my way to work?

There are reasons I love facebook. For work it’s great. It helps me fill my open massage appointment times, and is a great way for clients to keep in touch with me.

I love keeping up with family that I don’t get to see enough, in Calgary, Arizona, and even Africa. I don’t mind sharing pictures of the girls on there, though my thoughts about that are changing sometimes as well.

I think I am going to delete facebook from my phone. I will leave messanger on there so people can book appointments. But facebook doesn’t need to be on my phone. I am also going to try to only check it 3 times a day. In the morning, at lunch, and after the kids are in bed. I don’t know how this is going to improve my life, but I will absolutely blog about it.

Maybe it will make my blog more, which I am ok with.

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Baby Led Weaning

In the mom’s group I did with Babies Naturally there were a bunch of moms who were doing ‘Baby Led Weaning’, I prefer ‘Baby Led Eating’ because it really has nothing to do with weaning, but thats beside the point.

I was intrigued by this method of feeding babe. I loathed feeding Everleigh. It was, and still often is a battle. I would slave over making her purees every sunday, different combinations. Working so hard steaming everything, baby bullet-ing it, then freezing it in individual servings.

She went through a phase at about 8 months where she threw up after almost every meal. She had a cough, and a super sensitive gag reflex. It was horrible. I was so incredibly stressed, and annoyed that I spent so much time making her food and she couldn’t even keep it down.

So I went and bought the baby led weaning book, and read about it. I decided we would try it, so at 5 months (it may have even been before) when Shae started to get angry when we were all eating dinner and she was just sitting there, I gave her a red pepper to chew on. She loved it. From there we went to cucumbers, and ripe pears. We stuck with those three for a few weeks. And only at dinner time so that we could all sit down as a family. It worked amazing. Shae could feed herself, which is something we still can’t even get Ev to do most night! I just put Shae’s food in front of her and she shovels it in.

The question I am asked most often is ‘Aren’t you scared she will choke?’.

The quick answer – No. Everleigh choked on purees. Just because we are feeding Shae chunky food does not guarantee she will choke.

There are scientific reasons behind why this works. When baby is in charge of whats going in her mouth its easier for her to learn how to chew, and manoeuvre food in her mouth. When you spoon feed a baby, the spoon drops the food off further back, right where the gag reflex is. Baby doesn’t have the chance to move the food around in her own mouth and chew it before it gets back there.

There are a TON more benefits that you can google yourself. The only con I think would be how messy it is. We try to put a bib on her, but honestly I can’t wait till summer and she will just eat in a diaper. I need to try to remember to put a towel under her chair for quick clean up.

One of my favorite things about it is it forces us to eat healthier because she will be eating the same thing. I do keep handy items in stock for if we are having pizza, or chicken fingers, something she can’t have (We also aren’t giving her wheat until at least 1, but that’s another post in itself)

Here are some of Shae’s favorite foods so far

  • Banana
  • Avocado
  • Red Pepper
  • Cucumber
  • Pear
  • Chicken
  • Steak
  • Green beans
  • Cantaloupe

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Also, I added Shae’s 6 month pictures finally… check them out!

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Garnier Damage Eraser Vox Box!

I recently signed up for Influenster, and I LOOOOVE it.

I first received the Maple Vox Box, and it was great. New things to try, super fun.

The latest thing I received was the Damage Eraser Box, it is FULL SIZES of the Shampoo, Conditioner, Split end repair, and Hair masque.

I have extremely dry hair and cannot WAIT to try these products, I will post a review after a week (or two because honestly I don’t shower THAT often, lol)

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I thought it would be easier

I totally thought this daycare thing would be a breeze the second time around. With Everleigh it just seemed so natural. But I have a weird attachment thing with Shae, and she is the same with me.
Its making this situation super difficult because I just can’t bear leaving her.
I feel like she is this super difficult baby for other people, and I don’t want them to have to deal with her. Especially because I know how amazing she is for me.

I can’t even believe the kindness of my cousin Kate for even considering watching my babes. I love the dream of having them grow up that close to their cousins. But I know I could not keep my sanity even watching more than my own 2 kids, and I don’t want to add pressure or stress to Kate’s life. (I know you are reading this too ;)

I wish I had a year off paid. I wish I had chosen a career option that allowed that.
I hate that I HAVE to be back at work. And the only way for me to make money, and grow my practice is to work MORE.

We are going to another day care on Wednesdays starting next week, and I am so nervous. I hate it. How do Americans do this? Go back to work after like 6 weeks and just not look back? Its been 6 months and I am STILL not ready to let her go. Any American readers out there??? What do you do if you baby doesn’t take a bottle and you HAVE to go back to work? What do you do if your baby won’t nap at daycare.

I cannot wait until this phase is over, and we have a good routine in place, and I can relax. I know it is just that, a phase, and Shae will get used to napping somewhere else. I just hate the in between part…
Or am I totally overreacting and need to just relax and give it some time before I freak out…. life. why

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Baby Shae is 6 months old

Half a year baby!! We made it!

I remember clearly with Everleigh that things take another turn for the easier at 6 months. Not that you are difficult. Your sleeping is getting better and better. Still getting up to eat twice usually, but I don’t mind it. I am not tired, and I love those moments at night rocking with you. I know they won’t last forever. You always go right back to sleep.

You are the best napper ever! 99% of the time its 90 minutes, 3 times a day. Sometimes you skip the last nap but it doesn’t really make much a of difference in your day if you do or don’t. You put yourself to sleep and make it very easy on me. I hope you adapt this well at daycare to napping someday.

You are still nursing every 3-4 hours, sometimes all night, but its not that bad. You started solids a month ago, but are now eating 2x a day at least and you LOOOOVE food. Anything we give you, you want to shovel it in! We are doing baby led weaning and its a completely different experience than slaving over making purees for Everleigh. Its so relaxed, you eat what we eat already, and it makes sure we are eating healthy as well! Your favorites so far are roast beef and turkey, pears, and rice mum mums.

You are sitting up amazingly. Its so much fun playing with you. You just love sitting with your sister and I, playing with different toys, watching her be insane. I still am very protective of you. Your sister is a bit rough, she does it to get attention from me though. Not from any lack of love for you.

You are a professional roller. I worry you may not even crawl because you roll so well. You can get to anywhere rolling. You are showing signs of wanting to crawl, and your Oma thinks its going to happen soon, I am not sure if I am ready for you to be super mobile. Your sister is going to love it though.

You still hate daycare. We are going to check out a different place on Wednesday. Its in Ilderton, so not ideal for your dad, but we may just have to make it work for a small amount of time. Oma might need to pick you guys up every monday and stay at home with you until Dad gets home. We are exploring our childcare options right now. I wish I could stay home more, but I have a thirst for building my practice, and its hard to balance the two. I think staying home 2 days a week is a perfect balance, 3 would be a bit much and would mean I would have to work most Saturdays.

You are in 6 months clothes, perfect size, short and chunky. Your sis was short and slim, so its a lot of fun to kiss all over your rolls every day!!

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Does your parents marriage define you?

I was watching the Social today, and they were talking about each of their family situations, whether their parents were together, or apart. I am a bit cynical of people who say with such joy in their eyes ‘My parents have been together for over 30 years, and I have learned everything about marriage from them’. Because I was that person. And I don’t wish the feeling upon anybody.

But how would you feel if all of a sudden they weren’t together anymore. I didn’t see it coming. I want to connect with more people who empathize.

You thought it was perfect, you did learn everything from their demonstration of marriage. You didn’t know there was anything wrong with it, until it was over. Your world comes crashing down. You question your own relationship. Did I built something similar to my parents? Does that mean WE are destined for divorce. I don’t know the exact statistic but I know that once you come from a broken home you are more likely to produce one. Does that stat change depending on your age when your parents split??

I absolutely defined part of myself by the success of my parents marriage. I boasted about it, spoke about it in my wedding speech. Listened with sympathy to friends from homes where parents weren’t together, but clearly couldn’t empathize. Never imagined having to explain to my children why Oma and Opa are together in older pictures, but not now.

So I question, how do you learn about how to build a successful marriage for yourself, if not from your parents example?

Something my mom said to me after my parents split always comes back to me. ‘What if the success of a marriage wasn’t measured in its longevity’. It has taken years for this to marinate in my mind, but it rings truer every day that goes by when it comes to thinking about my parents. They raised 3 awesome kids together. And each taught us many things, different things, that came from them as SEPARATE people, not as a unit. Their marriage ending doesn’t mean everything leading up to that was a failure.

Learning my parents were people too was very important in my healing journey. Luckily I have always been very independent in my relationship, and both my husband and I are definitely selfish in a good way when we need to be. My husband doesn’t complete me. He compliments me, but I truly know who I am without him being part of the equation.

Same goes for being a mom. I never want to be that mom who is sitting on her doorstep 18 years later and saying ‘who the hell am I?’

I did let my parents marriage define me, but in the end of their relationship I learned SO much about myself, my relationships, and about my parents as people. In some ways, some days it was honestly a gift. It probably in the end made Ryan and I’s relationship stronger than it would have been. I began to respect that he deals with conflict differently than I did, and thats a good thing. Sometimes I can be like my dad, and want to avoid conflict at all costs, and sometimes I can be too much like my mom, and want to *no offence mom* therapy the shit out of it. When what sometimes I need to do is just sleep on it, and ignore it, OR hash it out, even if it doesn’t feel good at the time, it always feels better after.

I think people don’t talk about the inner workings of a marriage enough, and then your friends break up and everyone is like ‘where did that come from?!’ I want to talk about it, I love talking, about everything, with anyone. Being vulnerable is how we connect. I am trying to learn from something, rather than let it victimize me.

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